If you're just realizing that you're an Emotional Eater, you're probably starting to see that your diet failures haven't been due to lack of willpower but something deeper. Rest assured: overeating is a mink lashes habit that can be broken.
There are two reasons that people eat. They eat for health: to nourish their bodies and minds. And they eat to soothe their emotions. Once a person learns to eat for emotional reasons, food becomes a necessary component of dealing with the stresses and strains of everyday life.
Emotional eating is a learned behavior, and it can be unlearned. If you're an emotional eater, at some point in your life you learned that food could make you feel better. Maybe it was when you were a child and your parents fought, maybe it was at college when you felt out of place, maybe it was after your children left home and you didn't know how to fill their absence. Each time you ate when you felt lonely, angry, upset, or bored you reinforced the belief that food is an effective coping mechanism. After awhile your mind began to believe that food was the only option. When that happened, controlling your weight became impossible. That's why it's been so difficult to succeed on a diet.
Through working with thousands of dieters, I've found that people overeat when they are emotionally hungry (there is an important need in their life that is unmet). What turns this emotional hunger into physical hunger is the belief that the unmet need is never going to be satisfied. When that happens, they feel powerless. I have been able to identify five different kinds of powerless experiences that contribute to emotional hunger and overeating.
Conclusion #1 - Self-Doubt Layer
Conclusion #2 - Reward/Frustration Layer
Conclusion #3 - The Safety Layer
Conclusion #4 - The Rebellion Layer
Conclusion #5 - The Emptiness Layer
The good news is that each of these powerless experiences is a false experience. You're not powerless even though at times you feel powerless. And feeling powerless leaves you feeling emotionally hungry. The hunger switch turns this emotional hunger into physical hunger. You actually get hungry.
The way to stop overeating is to prove to yourself that you are not powerless by finding ways to satisfy your emotional hunger in the real world. In other words, you must prove to yourself, through a series of defining experiences that you can live without using food to shut down your mind.
Overeating is the main cause of obesity and many other major health problems. Once you learn how to recover your power and satisfy your emotional hunger, you'll be able to stop eating compulsively. You'll deal more effectively with life's problems, and eating sensibly won't be a losing struggle. You'll still have to pay attention to the facts about calories. It's very easy to gain weight. If you only eat an extra 100 calories a day, one apple (or a cookie, or a latte, or a soda) more than you need, you will gain twelve pounds a year. Do this for five years and seemingly harmless overeating has made you sixty pounds overweight and obese by definition.
Overeating can take many different forms. You can overeat by going on an occasional binge. You can overeat by snacking during the day, taking larger portions than you need, or sneaking in an extra dessert. You can overeat by taking in too many liquid calories in the form of soft drinks, alcohol, or lattes.
You will have to realize the ways in which you've felt powerless and recover your power by exploring each of the five powerless conclusions above. After all, you are not really powerless. Understanding yourself better and mastering your emotional responses to life is the key to breaking this habit. Your goal is to think and act instead of overeat. You learned this pattern one food choice at a time and you unlearn it one food choice at a time, too. Each time you stop yourself from emotional eating, the stronger your mind gets and the weaker your dependence on food gets.
Roger Gould, M.D.
Psychiatrist & Associate Clinical Professor, UCLA
Author & Creator of Shrink Yourself
is the Proven Online Program Designed to End Emotional Eating
One of the world's leading authorities on emotional eating and adult development.